


untitled

by CHEEKYPJM



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Depression, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-03-31 22:37:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13984764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CHEEKYPJM/pseuds/CHEEKYPJM
Summary: Yixing had never meant to hurt Baekhyun.





	untitled

"Hi, Baekhyun."

It's quiet, the way Yixing speaks to Baekhyun, almost like he's afraid the boy will dissipate away if he uses anything higher than a whisper. Baekhyun doesn't even mind though, just relishes in the way Yixing talks to him as if he's  _so_ special. That's the only thing that he can depend on right now, anyway. He doesn't want to think about anything else— especially not the state that's he's in right now. 

The only thing that he can really manage is a wave, and as he raises his hand, Yixing is quick to grab it, lacing their fingers. Baekhyun doesn't squeeze, he doesn't have the strength to, but Yixing understands fully, and it does hurt him, a lot. He doesn't say anything else, doesn't need to say anything else because Baekhyun won't be responding anyway, he's not capable of that at the moment. Yixing sighs to himself, this is partially his fault. Even though, he still tells himself that it should all be blamed on him. It hurts, but he wants to take the weight of everyone knowing that Yixing is at fault. For Baekhyun. 

It's silent for only a while, for Yixing clears his throat, frowning when Baekhyun slowly looks over at him. He looks like he's in pain, and for Yixing to be sitting here, perfectly fine and capable of his body, it hurts him. It hurts him to know that absolutely  _nothing_ happened to him, and that it all happened to  _Baekhyun_ instead. He doesn't think that's fair, but life is an incredible bitch. He hates to watch on as his lover breathes through on oxygen mask, tubes and wires everywhere as they dangle from various parts of his body; just to keep him  _alive_. Yixing winces at the fact that one little plug could end the life of Baekhyun, right now. He doesn't try to hide his little tear either, just reaches out to run his fingers through Baekhyun's black hair. 

"I love you," he whispers, because, again, he's scared. "This wasn't supposed to happen." 

Baekhyun doesn't say anything, and Yixing isn't so much as surprised. Instead, a breathy sigh could be heard, and Yixing knows that Baekhyun is now having trouble with retrieving any fresh air to his lungs. Yixing knows what to do, and he reaches over to press the prominent red button sticking out of the side of Baekhyun's hospital bed. It rings down the doctors, and soon enough, atleast two doctors are rushing into the room and going to Baekhyun's aid. Yixing is escorted out of the room, with much reluctance.

The last bit of glimpse he catches of Baekhyun is him smiling up at Yixing. It absolutely breaks his heart because this is really all of his fault.

 

 

"It's going to be okay, Yixing. He's going to be okay."

Little by little, the encouragements of everyone less and less believable. Everyone's basically lost any last pieces of hope by now. Baekhyun won't last out here like that. Not in that condition. Yixing knows that Kyungsoo is just trying to make him feel better, but it just isn't working anymore. Not this time around. He doesn't want to bd selfish either, he knows that everyone else is in just as much pain as he is, having  _basically_ being in the gist of losing someone that they really care about.

Everyone knows, Baekhyun isn't going to make it. 

That's why the news didn't quite shock Yixing when he had found out through Baekhyun's (very heartbroken) grandmother, that Baekhyun had passed. He had left everyone, Yixing. It led Yixing into a pit. He didn't understand, he didn't know what to do with himself at this point. He had basically lost his  _life_ , his will to live. No one else had this affect on him, and to see that just  _slip_ between his fingertips like that, it really does something to Yixing.

He doesn't do anything anymore. Just stays cooped up in his, and once Baekhyun's, apartment, doing absolutely nothing. Sometimes even, he just stares at the television for hours upon hours. It's rare, rare when he just lies in bed and thinks about Baekhyun. If he was here, with Yixing. If he were to see Yixing like this. What would he be doing right now? Would he be teasing Yixing, or making himself comfortable on Yixing's lap, like he always does— likes he always used to do. 

Some days, it's too much for Yixing and he just snaps. He gets angry, angry with himself. He calls himself things, and sometimes almost pills himself over. Only Kyungsoo would be his only comfort, assuring him that he shouldn't be freaking out like this. He leads Yixing through his little breakdowns, providing him with comforting words to let him know that he doesn't have to harm himself because Baekhyun is no longer there with him. And sometimes he wants to tell Kyungsoo off. To tell him that he doesn't understand, he doesn't get it. He hadn't lost someone, he hadn't lost himself a Baekhyun— like Yixing did. 

Yixing doesn't understand why he just isn't imprisoned yet, he feels like he's murdered Baekhyun with his own hands. Even though he hadn't, atleast that's what Kyungsoo tells him. 

He faintly remembers getting shit-faced drunk with Baekhyun, and deciding to take both of them home. He doesn't know what influenced him, he doesn't know why anyone hadn't stopped them, but, he just knows that he regrets it. 

Regrets it like hell. 

The little note that he leaves on the side table in the room that they shared before he officially walked out of the house, it really made him break down. 

 

 

 

 

_I never meant to hurt you, darling._

 

 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as disgusting fluff where they were kissing and visiting the carnival and watching movies together, but for some reason, I erased it and started writing bc Seventeen's Thanks got me feeling some type of way. 
> 
> It's short bc I can't write angst for too long before i get to crying like a little child, and that's not my forte.
> 
> If you enjoyed this, kudos are appreciated (: 
> 
> And tell me what you think, please and thank you. 
> 
> byee, have a nice day/night. eat plenty.
> 
>  
> 
> btw, this is just fiction, I know yall know that nothing actually happened to Baekhyun, and this will never happen to him and/or Yixing or any of the other members. please don't hop on my case (: ♡


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